Friday, July 8, 2011

How Electrons relate to Anorexia

Do you know anything about electrons? Do you remember high school chemistry? There's a lot of things you might know about electrons, but there's one fact in particular that I'm looking for. 

Did you know that it's impossible to know exactly where an electron is AND where its going during any given time? When you saw a picture in your high school chemistry book with a little orbit for the electron to follow, that picture was actually bullshit. No kidding. Electrons do not follow little paths. They are not on their own little lane of a track surrounding the nucleus. That path is actually the outer most boundary of where you're LIKELY to find that electron. It's like a probability field. 90% of the time you're likely to find the electron somewhere within those bounds. But the rest of the time... it could be just about anywhere else. If for whatever reason you want to learn more, here's a great video on the subject.

How does this relate to anorexia? Risk factors.
Just because someone has all the risk factors for developing anorexia, does not mean they will. And on the flip side, just because someone has NO risk factors for anorexia, does not guarantee they will never come to struggle with it. 

In fact, I've met people who have actually made a choice to develop anorexia. On purpose. Of course, they wouldn't say it in just those words. They would say something like "I don't consider myself to be eating disordered, I just really enjoy being thin and devote a lot of my time to staying that way." But all their behaviors mirror those of an anorectic.

Now. About me. I don't know that people would call me anorectic. I suppose you might call me a volitional anorectic. I have never gotten scary-thin. I have never passed out from lack of eating, have never restricted for more than a few months at a time.

What I have done is severely restricted my calories when I have gained too much weight, until I've gotten down to a weight I'm comfortable at. I've lost as much as 80 lbs doing this. And when I get to a weight I'm happy at - I stop. I go back to eating "regularly."

So that's what this is about. I've gotten to a weight I'm uncomfortable at, and I'm back to restricting.


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