Sunday, July 10, 2011

(Saturday, continued) 176.4 lbs 80 cals

It's odd, my weight is up a little today, but I have only had some soup and diet soda - all liquid. I figure I must have been really dehydrated yesterday, although it certainly didn't feel like it.

I didn't sleep at ALL last night. It was funny, I was playing World of Warcraft and surfing the internet all night, and I knew I had a karate lesson in the morning. I moseyed out to my car way early - I'd figured I'd get there like 40 minutes early and chill. And when I got out to the car I was suddenly convinced that my lesson was an hour before it really was, and I drove like a crazy person trying to get there in time, which was REALLY stupid because there's no way I would have made it in time. But I did get there 50 minutes early for my actual lesson and 10 minutes late for my psychosomatic lesson.

That was when I got the soup at the gas station. It was a soup at hand chicken noodle - 80 calories. I had gone to Panera, but they didn't have black bean soup that day for some reason, and nothing else looked safe. I'm glad I went to the gas station, this was way lower cal than anything Panera had and way cheaper, too. I had 3 pieces of gum throughout the day too but I figure that's pretty negligible.

So my lesson was okay, we are just beginning to review for my black belt test, so that's a terrifying proposition. They've had 4 black belt tests this week alone. That is not a common occurrence - it's funny how they seem to cycle that way. We'll have 5 black belt tests within 2 mos and then nothing for another 7. I'm hoping I'll have mine in like September or October, and the friend who's party I went to after my lesson is having her test in August before she goes off to college.

After my lesson, since I didn't sleep the night before, I was dying from exhaustion so I took a nap in my car for an hour. That doesn't sound that remarkable but I was in a really snazzy part of town and was paranoid the cops were gonna give me trouble. First I was in a residential neighborhood but cars kept slowing down to look at me - okay maybe it was only one - but it still spooked me so I went to a secluded parking lot in between a CVS and a bank. It was so hot today and there were no spots in the shade so I had to keep the engine running and the air conditioner on. I have no cell phone - well, I lost it anyway - so I basically just had to hope and pray I didn't sleep too long and run out the battery on the car. I was way too exhausted to think of a better plan.

The party at my friend's house was good, and I was only very slightly tempted by the huge layout of food. I was one of the last people to leave and her mother tried to send me home with cookies and cakes, but I refused. If boyfriend had been in town I would have gotten them for him, but he doesn't come back until late Monday night, and I didn't want that crap staring me in the face for the next 2.5 days.

We played some pretty cool party games, my favorite one was jousting where we were balanced on this very low, flexible beam armed with pool noodles (the noodles were essentially useless) and tried to knock each other off by pushing and whacking and jumping (making the beam go up and down). I felt like a perv because I was so happy at getting to physically push and shove my karate instructor. I think it was more physical contact than we've ever had. I've seriously been in love with him for like 6 1/2 years. I missed my chance after he was divorced, I was legal, but I don't think I really had a chance anyway. Not that I would have gone for it even if I wasn't dating someone at the time. He's super conscientious about keeping his private life and public life apart. At least his new wife is really sweet. That's what I keep telling myself anyway. I think it's messed up that her 7 or 8 year old kid calls him Dad, though. Whatever.

I hung out with my first love karate instructor, who took my virginity, for a while at the end of the party. I was hoping he would ask me to hang out afterwards but he didn't. When I'm not with him I know it's a bad idea. When I'm with him... blah. It'll probably be a long time before we're in a similar situation again, so that's good.

I got home around 8 and took a nap for like 2.5 hours. My leg muscles (esp my right leg/thigh area) have been really sore and my shoulders are starting to get sore too. Must be from that jousting game. And earlier I gagged a couple times. I've noticed that when I'm severely restricting I get randomly nauseous. I've no idea why, and it totally sucks.

Boyfriend, who's been out of town for like two weeks has not gotten online tonight yet, and I missed him yesterday too. I would really like to talk to him!

It's clear to me that I'm having a lot of difficulty concentrating - it took me 3x as long to write this as it should have. I've had to reread it like 5x. So that's all for now.


Post a Comment